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There is little doubt that the sayings of Homer Simpson have become food for fodder and deep thought in today’s pop culture. I am not sure what that says about us, but a religion based on his weekly humor can’t be far off. Here are a few choice samples:

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don’t show up tomorrow don’t bother showing up on Monday. Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.

I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes!

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.

Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here’s the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won’t ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can’t speak English.

America’s health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well…all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don’t live in Paraguay!

If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing

Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

‘To Start Press Any Key’. Where’s the ANY key?

I’m a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.

We’ll die together, like a father and son should.

Tags: Quotes