An Important Message From Your Belly Fat
My dear friend…
I was in the mood to remember the great times we have passed last year, all that big parties and all the food there, delicious food, and thousands and thousands of calories. Oh my good! I really enjoy that, i can’t wait for the next one.
So, i write this letter to tell you that, if you don’t mind, i want to stay with you as much as possible. But i think that there’s no more space enough for both of us in this body anymore, so, it’s time to make some.
Yes, we also have our issues. Like the time you were thinking of doing that interval training. That was mean! I felt like the Wicked Witch of the West in the land of Oz. Did you hear me yelling, “Help me, I’m melting!”? But its fine now, that’s in the past.
If you want to feel ok, go back to that slow cardio stuff. There was a lot of sweat, but no really fat loss. And you were happy, just as me.
Also, keep reading those articles, the ones that explain how strength training doesn’t burn body fat. If you add strength training to your program, that will be the end for “us”.
I will never forget that time when you started those superset workouts. I was burning! “So, this is the end” i thought. And when you gave up and went back to just lifting utensils and not dumbells, i felt really lucky.
Sometimes I wonder, what did you ever do in college without me, your trusted belly fat? Back then, you were probably one of those people that couldn’t wait to get to the beach to show off your body, not like these days. Nope, stay in the shade and keep the cover-up clothes on, that’s the way to go now. Besides, its a lot closer to the cold beer and the BBQ when you’re sitting in the shade avoiding all the fun down on the beach.
I ask you one more time, i beg you, stay away from that Turbulence Training workout routine please. It makes me sick every time you think about it. Remember that i want to be with you in your grave (and i can take you there soon if i want to…just kidding). Then, if you still want to see me, don’t even think about it never again. You need me more than i need you, remember that, and treat me well. You know there’s a lot of people out there wishing to be my friend.
Sincerely yours, Belly Fat.
PS. Seriously, don’t go near that Turbulence Training program unless you want to see me, Thunder Thighs, Manboobs, Jigg Lee Arm Fat, and Luv Handles pack our bags and hit the highway.
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